The Man I Want to Be Read online

  But someone stepped in front of her, making her skid to a stop.

  “Hey,” Sammie said, with a hand on her hip. “Where have you been? I’ve been looking all over for you. You didn’t show up for the rowing competition this morning. I was worried, so I went to your room, but you weren’t there.”

  “Oh, sorry,” she said, glancing over Sam’s shoulder at the man’s retreating back. “I wasn’t feeling well, so I decided to come down and take a quiet walk by myself near the water.” She tried to step around Sam, but her friend blocked her way.

  “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah, the fresh air helped,” Kenna said. “Sorry to make you worry. I’m going to go back and get something to eat and maybe lie down for a little bit. But I’m not going to miss yoga this afternoon. I’m looking forward to it.” She took one step to the side, and Sam mirrored her move.

  “Good.” Sam eyed her with a curious expression that made Kenna squirm.

  “What?”

  “Have you seen Bryan around?”

  “Bryan?” Kenna said in a strained voice. She cleared her throat and tried again. “No. I have no idea where he is.” Not since he slept in my bed last night, disappeared this morning, and was taunting me in the lobby about twenty minutes ago.

  Sam wore large shades over her eyes, but the way she reset her jaw, Kenna imagined Sam’s eyes narrowed. “He didn’t show this morning, either. I went to his room. He wasn’t there. I thought maybe you two met for breakfast or something.”

  Kenna laughed. It was harsh and fake. “Definitely not. Why would you think that?”

  “I watched you guys talking last night,” Sam said. “It seemed like you were getting along. I don’t know. Just a hunch, but I guess I was wrong.”

  “Definitely wrong,” Kenna rushed to say. “I’m not keeping tabs on him. Do people think I’m keeping tabs on him? Because I’m not. If that’s what people are thinking, just make sure they know my days of keeping track of Bear are long gone. Done. Finished.”

  Jesus, Kenna. Shut up!

  Sam eyed her another minute, and it took Kenna every bit of willpower she possessed not to blurt out everything that had transpired over the last twelve hours. “Okay. Well, I have to get back. Make sure you check the schedule so you don’t miss any more activities.”

  “Got it,” Kenna said. “I’m looking forward to everything.”

  “You’ll be okay for the bachelorette party tonight, right?”

  “Yes. Definitely not missing that. Don’t worry.”

  “Good,” Sam said with a smile. “Go rest up. I’ll see you later.”

  “See ya.”

  Kenna waited for Sam to start back up the path before she followed. She needed a minute to collect her brain. It had fallen out somewhere on the way. Lord, she’d completely lost her shit at Sam’s innocent question about Bear. If she was going to get through this week and this investigation, she needed to act like he was nothing more than an occasional accomplice.

  Because he was. He was never anything more than that.

  …

  Tyke ripped the pink umbrella from his glass of water and shook his head as he rested the item on the other side of the table. He’d asked for ice water. Not water without ice but with an umbrella.

  Sitting at an ocean-view table at one of the many hotel restaurants on the beach, he reviewed the list Kilos gave him. It contained the names of everyone in attendance at the wedding, plus any male who worked at the resort. Consolation for the fact that the hotel wouldn’t have the video footage of the hallway outside Kenna’s hotel room ready for a day or two. Something about the storage servers being off site.

  Tyke figured the thief was someone involved with the wedding, since both suspected robberies involved people in some way associated with the event. That seemed to be the only connection.

  A plate clattered onto the table in front of him, filled with beef sandwiches, asparagus, cubes of cheese, and mashed potatoes.

  “Thought you might be hungry,” Reese said, taking a seat next to him with his own full plate of food. He unwrapped the napkin holding his silverware and laid it out over his lap. Slowly and methodically, Reese cut into his food. “I didn’t see you at rowing this morning. Did you sleep in?”

  “Uh, yeah.” Tyke dug into the food. He’d left Kenna’s room so early, he didn’t have breakfast. With the fragrant scent in front of him, his stomach grumbled. He was tired as hell, too. Barely slept so he could keep watch all night. He’d promised her she’d be safe, and he wanted to keep that promise. That slick son of a bitch wasn’t going to sneak in on her again.

  “You missed a good time,” Reese said, chewing through one small morsel of asparagus. “Cass’s team won. They beat the others by a good three minutes.”

  Tyke grunted. If he’d been there, they would’ve kicked everyone’s ass by at least ten minutes.

  He tossed some potatoes into his mouth and looked up at Reese. That’s when he noticed the other man’s attire. Bright red, skin-tight tank top with navy blue spandex shorts that didn’t do a damn thing to hide his man-junk bulge beneath the napkin.

  “What the hell are you wearing?” Tyke asked, feeling the food he’s just swallowed start to roil in his belly.

  Reese glanced down at himself like he’d forgotten what he’d put on. “It’s my rowing uniform.” For as nonchalantly as he said it, he could’ve been wearing loose gym shorts and a T-shirt.

  “That’s what Sam made you wear?” Tyke asked.

  Thank Christ he’d missed it.

  “She didn’t force us, no,” Reese said, dabbing his mouth with his napkin. “I brought it with me when I saw the schedule of events in the invitation.”

  He sat up taller, throwing his slim shoulders back. Reese wasn’t built by any means. He had muscle, but he was so damn skinny that they could do nothing but protrude. He probably weighed about one-eighty versus Tyke’s two-eighty. What he lacked in mass he sure as hell made up for in strength, though. Reese could do one-handed pull-ups for hours without stopping. And handstands. Tyke had seen Reese do handstands on the side of a mountain, slowly folding himself over the side without falling. It was impressive as hell. No way Tyke would attempt that.

  Reese’s compact chest was still puffed out. “I’ll have you know that I’ve won quite a number of championships in this uniform.”

  The pride on Reese’s face made it impossible for Tyke to hammer him too hard about it. Hey, everyone had a passion for something. Tyke wouldn’t be caught dead in anything squeezing his balls like that, but if it was Reese’s thing, then good for him. It seemed to be working for him with that blond chick he’d been hanging with.

  Tyke was about to ask what she thought about Reese’s man knob, but Reese gestured with his chin to the list on the table.

  “What’s that?”

  “Investigation,” he said through another mouthful.

  Reese rested his fork on the plate and looked directly at Tyke through his wire-frame glasses. “What happened?”

  He gulped his water, swallowing down a half-chewed piece of meat, then said, “A few guests from the wedding are missing things. A little too convenient and similar.”

  “Like what?”

  “One of Cass’s coworkers is missing a watch. Kenna said her mom’s ring was taken from her room last night. She thinks she saw the guy who did it.”

  “Hmm,” Reese mused. “What do we know so far?”

  “I got hotel security caught up on the situation. They’re preparing video feeds from the last few days, including the time when Kenna said she saw the guy near her room. He’s average height and lean with dark hair. She didn’t get a look at his face.”

  “Hence the list,” Reese added.

  Tyke nodded. “I’m trying to narrow it down to viable suspects. Problem is—” He turned the papers to face Reese. “It’s so fucking long. Maybe we can get through it a lot faster if we break it up.”

  Reese’s eyes grazed over the paper. “Out of the one hundred peop
le in attendance, about forty-five percent are males. Take out another ten percent for older men with gray hair. That leaves about thirty-five. We could probably scout most of them today.”

  “Perfect.” Tyke ripped the paper in two. “We need to nail this guy. That ring means more to Kenna than anything.”

  Reese lowered his chin and met Tyke’s gaze. “Also, we don’t want the thief to think he can steal anything else from the wedding guests. Correct?”

  Tyke swallowed. Right. “Yeah, that, too. Do your thing and let’s discuss more at the bachelor party tonight. Oh, and don’t breathe a word of this to Ash and Luke. I don’t want them worrying just yet.”

  Chapter Six

  “All right, ladies. We gonna do this or what?”

  Aunt Estelle busted into the resort bar on a mission. Her brown hair was teased higher than normal, making it look like a can of Aqua-Net and a cotton ball had had a baby. She wore a denim skirt that hit mid-thigh, a navy-blue tank top that showed off her deep cleavage, and platform sandals. She had a slick glint in her eye that promised the kind of fun that usually got people arrested.

  “Hey, Estelle!” Sam yelled back. “Come on in. We’re just getting started.”

  Ten shot glasses filled with red liquid lined the bar. The women had already toasted Cassandra. This round was for Sam.

  Aunt Estelle snaked her way to the bar, stopping at Kenna’s side. “How ya doin’?”

  “Good,” Kenna said.

  “Bullshit,” she said.

  Kenna snapped a glance at her great-aunt. “Excuse me?”

  “How are you really doing?” Estelle asked. “And don’t lie to me this time.”

  Kenna scrunched her face up as she thought about her answer. She’d told herself she was over Bear. But if that was the case, then why did her heart hurt so bad seeing him again? Why did her body respond the way it did around him? Why did she long to wrap herself in his big, safe arms and force him never to leave again?

  “It’s hard,” she said a little less composed than she wanted. “I didn’t think I’d ever see him again. I’d come to terms with it. But now…” She blew out a breath. “It’s…” Another breath. “I need to get through this week so I can get on with my life without him, just like I did before.”

  Estelle placed an arm around Kenna and squeezed. Needing the comfort, Kenna turned into her aunt and circled her round midsection with both arms. The tight hold made her feel at ease for the first time since seeing Bear and being thrown into this tornado of wrecked emotions.

  “I missed you,” Kenna said into the other woman’s shoulder.

  “Missed you, too, girlie.”

  “This is going to be a great week.”

  “Damn right,” Estelle said.

  “This is about Sam. I don’t want to dwell on my past. I want tonight to be about her.”

  “I agree, hon. Tonight’s not about relivin’ past mistakes. It’s about makin’ new ones.” Estelle winked as both women laughed and toasted to not having regrets.

  A squeal came from farther down the bar, so the women pulled apart to look in that direction.

  Sam had an arm around the other bride, Cassandra, smiling as they lifted shot glasses into the air. Everyone else followed suit, lifting their shot glasses and then downing the contents in one take. It was fruity with a kick that burned on the descent. Perfect start to the night.

  What a joy it was to see Sam happy and in love. She and Kenna used to sit in their bedrooms and dream about their weddings and future husbands. Of course, back then Kenna’s Prince Charming had a face. Sam used to say that one day she’d meet a man just like Kenna’s. Big, broad, brooding, and badass. Either she’d had a crystal ball or she had a very distinct type of man, because Ash fit that description well. He might not be as large as Bear, but Kenna had no doubt of his badass level. Ash exuded power and strength.

  Sam caught Kenna’s stare and beckoned her over. Stepping forward, Kenna tugged Estelle with her.

  “We’re going to play a game!” Sam said as they approached.

  Kenna knew it wasn’t a question or a request. Everyone was going to play. Whether they wanted to or not.

  Following Cass and Sam to the corner of the bar, the rest of the bachelorette party crowded around a circular table, each taking a seat. Tall glasses with pink liquid were set in front of each chair.

  “What are we going to play?” Megan, one of Cassandra’s cute, blond sorority sisters, said from across the table.

  Sam’s eyes met Kenna’s, and she grinned. “Never Have I Ever.”

  That was the moment Kenna’s stomach rolled. “I—uh, we—I don’t think that’s the best choice. There have to be other games that are much more fun.”

  “No,” Tiffany, Cass’s other sorority sister, said. “It’ll be fun!”

  “Yeah, I love this game!” Tracy said all excitement and smiles. She was one of Sam’s friends. Blond and bubbly, just like Sam.

  “One of my favorites,” Estelle said from the corner of her mouth.

  Once upon a time, it had been Kenna’s favorite game, too. But not anymore. Not when she would have to relive all of her experiences so openly with the other women. Bear had been her first, her last, and her only. And now, knowing Sam and the questions that would be asked, she’d have to recall every little detail of her time with him. She wasn’t prepared to open that door. She wouldn’t ever be ready to open it.

  “How do you play?” Celia asked, picking up her glass and examining the contents as if it were some sort of toxic waste.

  Sam sat up eagerly in her seat. “Cass and I, as the brides to be, are going to make statements that start with ‘Never have I ever’ and if you have done whatever we say, then you take a drink.”

  “I don’t understand.” Celia placed her cup onto the table, then straightened the collar of her white cotton button-up shirt. “Why would I drink if I’ve done something you said?”

  Tracy pulled out a chair next to Celia and sat down. “Because it’s a fun way to learn which of us has been the naughtiest.”

  “You’ve been with one man your whole life, Celia,” Estelle said. “You’re not gonna have to drink, so don’t sweat it. Just pick up your glass and sip while us big girls play.”

  Celia’s usually innocent expression hardened as she pulled out her own chair. “I want to play.” The older woman dropped hard into her seat and turned to Sam. “Ask me a question.”

  Sam blinked and looked between Estelle and Celia. Aunt Estelle shrugged and gestured for Sam to proceed.

  “All right then.” Sam sat and dragged her drink from across the table toward her. “How about, never have I ever lied about my age.”

  “I have! I have!” Celia said, nearly leaping out of her seat. “I’ve been told I can pass for sixty-five! I get to drink!” She ripped the glass from the table and held it into the air like it was the Stanley Cup.

  Aunt Estelle snorted a laugh. “Yeah, yeah. That was a warm-up. Buckle up, Girl Scout. The statements get a lot dirtier.”

  Celia sniffed and turned back to Sam with eyes hard and focused.

  Just about everyone around the table lifted their glasses, toasting one another, and took a big sip of pink liquid.

  A mouthful of the liquor traveled down Kenna’s throat effortlessly, tasting like berries, vodka, and exhilaration. You know what? This was Sam’s weekend, and Kenna was surrounded by amazing people whom she loved to the ends of the Earth. She needed to get out of her funk and start enjoying herself. This should be a fun night with a group of women celebrating one another’s happiness, not a pity session over what she’d lost.

  “My turn.” Cassandra glanced around the table, her green eyes sparkling wickedly at the other women. “Never have I ever skinny-dipped.”

  Estelle passed a you steppin’ up? look to Celia.

  Celia tilted her head, her perfect gray chignon resting delicately against her neck, and smirked. She reached for her glass and took another drink.

  Approval crossed Aunt
Estelle’s face. “You’re makin’ me proud, Cee.”

  The rest of the women at the table lifted their glasses and drank.

  “Never have I ever seen a male stripper,” Sam offered.

  “Easy,” Estelle scoffed, and lifted her glass. Before she placed it to her mouth, she elbowed Celia’s side. When the other woman looked at Estelle, she said, “Last month. Remember? We went to that male review down on Broadway?”

  It took a second, but then recognition dawned on Celia’s face and she excitedly lifted her glass.

  “Come on,” Becca, one of Sam’s high school friends, said. She flipped a section of silky brown over her shoulder. “These are too easy. We’ve all done that. Give us something juicy.”

  The other ladies nodded and mumbled in agreement.

  “All right, all right,” Cassandra said. She looked up to the ceiling for a moment in thought, then, “How about, never have I ever worn a skirt without underwear.”

  Celia’s eyes expanded, and her mouth dropped open. A look of bewilderment crossed her wrinkled features. “Without a girdle?”

  Aunt Estelle leaned closer to the woman but didn’t lower her voice. “It’s good to let your girl breathe every now and then. I’m doin’ it right now. Feels pretty damn freeing.”

  Celia’s lips warped, and she turned a slight shade of green.

  Kenna noticed two women at the table, who were guests at the wedding, though she couldn’t recall their names, looking sidelong at the others and didn’t drink.

  The questions continued to build, each one growing more risqué. Kenna drank on every single one, earning her glances of curiosity and approval from the others. Alas, there wasn’t much she hadn’t done. She and Bear had quite the history together.

  “Never have I ever had sex in a car.” Sam’s blue eyes illuminated, watching and waiting for the women to lift their glasses.

  “Hannah!” Cassandra squealed, looking at her college roommate. “With who?”

  The cute, energetic brunette with a bob giggled with drink in hand. “John.”

  Cassandra’s jaw fell open. “Your husband, John?”