The Man I Want to Be Read online

  God almighty…when she’d said the asshole had been in her room. That she’d seen someone and could’ve stumbled upon him while he was still there… Tyke fisted the tumbler in his hand, almost shattering the glass from the pressure. She could’ve been hurt without anyone knowing until it was too late.

  What did the guy want with the ring anyway? To pawn it?

  And how in the hell did he know she had it?

  If Tyke never had to think about that sapphire ring for the rest of his life, he’d be ecstatic. It was nothing but a reminder of everything he’d wanted but had to give up. As that thought came to him, just as quick another idea formed: this could be his chance. If he could track down the thief and get the ring back, then she’d be happy. Too happy to be pissed at him anymore, right? While she was basking in the heavenly glow of satisfaction—because he found the ring, not because of anything else he did to her, though God knew he wanted to give her other satisfaction, too—he’d finally be able to tell Kenna why he didn’t come back. She could leave the resort knowing he wasn’t wholly a bad guy. That he’d saved the day this one time, and he’d ultimately done what was best for her in the long run. It was almost too poetic.

  First step: he needed to learn more about this dark-haired guy she saw outside her room.

  Turning, he shot a look back over his shoulder. The person on the other side of Claire got up and headed toward the bar.

  Tyke shot from his chair, cutting off whatever Assistant Principal Mutters was saying about the mayor. He didn’t seem too upset, though, just turned to the person on their other side and kept going as if there hadn’t been an interruption.

  Bryan lowered into the seat next to Claire.

  “Hi,” Tyke said.

  She started and spun toward him, clutching her chest. Richard’s eyes narrowed, and he swayed forward, hovering over his chair.

  Tyke threw his hands up, palms out. “Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you.”

  Claire inhaled a breath, and Richard lowered back into his seat.

  “I’m Bryan,” he said. “I’m a groomsman. I work with Ash and Luke.”

  “Hello,” Claire said, offering a relieved, cordial smile. “I’m Claire. I work with Cassandra. This is my husband, Richard.”

  He shook the other man’s hand.

  “Are you enjoying yourself?” Richard asked.

  “Uh, sure. Yeah,” Tyke said. “Can’t beat the open bar, right?”

  Richard and Claire exchanged a look and let out a forced chuckle.

  “Anyway,” Tyke said, spotting the person who vacated his current seat heading back to the table. “I wanted to ask you about your watch.”

  Claire’s smile evaporated, and Richard threw a possessive arm around his wife’s shoulders.

  “What about it?” Richard asked in a curt tone.

  “I overheard you talking about it earlier,” Tyke said. “I wasn’t eavesdropping. Just heard as I was passing by. I didn’t give much thought to it actually. But you said it’s missing. Can you tell me if you noticed anything out of the ordinary when you saw that it was gone?”

  Richard and Claire mirrored each other’s reaction, eyebrows furrowed and a confused tightening to their lips.

  “Like what?” Richard asked.

  Tyke made eye contact with the person whose seat he was in. The sixty-something stout man with graying hair looked around for a moment as if debating whether he should ask Tyke to get up. He voted for delaying and went back toward the bar.

  “Well,” Bryan said to the couple. “Things happen. Thieves target people who’re on vacation because they tend to be living out of suitcases and don’t have a good handle on what they brought. It’s easy to pick up and walk away with items. Especially if they’re small.”

  Claire clutched the diamond seahorse pendant hanging from her neck. “Thieves? You’re suggesting it was stolen?”

  Tyke lifted one shoulder. “Just trying to rule out all possibilities.”

  “Possibilities of what?” Richard asked, eyes widening. “A burglary?”

  When a few people at their table looked up, Tyke leaned closer to the couple and lowered his voice. “Maybe. Did you notice anything odd? Anyone you remember that might’ve seemed suspicious?”

  “No. No one.” Clare shook her head. “I mean, I’m not sure. I didn’t know the watch was missing until recently. Maybe we saw someone or something and didn’t realize it.”

  As her words went on, her voice climbed three octaves. Her husband placed his hand over hers and soothed her with shhh sounds. “It’s okay. We’re going to find it.”

  “I hope so.” Claire dropped her head on her husband’s shoulder with a soft sob.

  Tyke’s chest squeezed at the woman’s emotions. The honest fear and despair in her voice made it tough to pull another breath.

  “Sorry for bugging you,” Tyke said, getting to his feet. “If you think of anything, let me know. Enjoy the, uh, wedding and stuff.”

  He headed straight back to the bar. He slapped his hand onto the shoulder of the guy whose seat he’d taken. “Seat’s all yours, man. Sorry for the delay.”

  “Huh? Oh. Thanks.”

  As the man shuffled past, digging his sandals into the sand, a female voice sounded from Tyke’s other side.

  “Anything yet?” she asked.

  He turned to Kenna, who held a plate and fork, eating small bites of the already bite-size dessert. He watched her cut off a small corner with her utensil, slip the tiny piece into her mouth, and chew. Then she cut off another piece small enough for a mouse and repeated the motion.

  “Why the hell don’t you just shove the whole thing in?” he asked. “I know for a fact your mouth can take bigger.”

  Her fork froze on its way to her lips, suspended in midair. She stared at him, pissy-ness growing with each silent second that passed. After a moment, she lowered her fork, resting it on the plate, and then set the entire thing on the bar behind her.

  “If we’re going to get through this week without me killing you,” she started, “and more importantly, if we’re going to find the ring in time, I strongly encourage you not to bring up anything about our past. That includes memories of your small prick getting near my mouth. Capiche?”

  Wait, what?

  I know your mouth can take bigger.

  Oh, shit.

  “Fuck, Kenna. I wasn’t even thinking—I was saying—I just—”

  Then of course he couldn’t do anything but think about her mouth all over him.

  “Just tell me if you found something,” she said bluntly.

  He cleared his throat, ignoring the tightness in his lower stomach. “No.”

  “What did you say?”

  “No,” he repeated a little stronger. “You go first.”

  She narrowed her eyes. “Why?”

  “Why, what?”

  “Why do I have to go first?”

  “Because…” He wasn’t going to tell her he needed a few more seconds to get his head back in working order after his other head was imagining some one-on-one time. He wanted to live long enough to solve this case. “I wanna know what you found out so I can piece this thing together.”

  “You always work best alone, don’t you, Bryan? It’s not like you need my help on anything, right?”

  Tyke massaged his screaming temples. Where had that come from? Ken Griffey wouldn’t have been able to snatch that out of left field even with a head start. “What are you talking about?”

  She grunted. “Never mind. Just tell me what you know.”

  Out of spite, he wasn’t going to give in. “Did you notice anything else about the guy in the hallway? Anything beyond average height and dark hair? Any identifying marks?”

  She squeezed her lips together and turned away.

  Jesus, she was stubborn. “You wanna stand here all night with your arms crossed not talking?”

  She didn’t respond or turn back to him.

  For shit’s sake. Fine. “There’s a couple who said they
’re missing something valuable.”

  That got her attention. She spun with eager eyes. “Do you think the same guy did it?”

  Tyke shrugged. “They didn’t see anyone. But she brought a watch that was her mother’s on the trip, and now she can’t find it.”

  “Another family heirloom,” Kenna reflected to herself, then addressed him. “You think it’s related? It has to be, right? It’s too similar to my mother’s ring.”

  It was definitely too similar. Even if he didn’t want to admit it. But who at this resort would know how important Kenna’s ring and Claire’s watch were to them?

  Who could know Claire and Kenna both well enough? Kenna was Samantha’s friend; Claire was a teacher friend from Cassandra’s school. The only connection he could think of right now was Baltimore. It’s where Sam and Cassandra both worked and lived.

  “This sounds like a pattern,” she said in a strained voice. “What if the guy strikes again? What’s next? Sam’s wedding dress?”

  “What’s wrong with my wedding dress?” Sam appeared at Kenna’s other side.

  Kenna shrieked. “What? Who?” She smoothed her already smooth hair and forced a chuckle. “Nothing. There’s nothing wrong with your dress. Why would you think there’s something wrong with your dress? Or my mom’s ring. There’s nothing wrong at all!”

  Smooth. Real smooth. Remind me to take her on my next undercover op.

  Sam’s puzzled look bounced from Kenna to Tyke. “Uh, okay. Glad that’s cleared up. I wanted to check on you two to make sure you’re getting along. Actually, I’m surprised to see you together. I thought you were going to avoid each other all week.”

  “We were,” Kenna said, then shook herself. “We are.”

  Sam paused, again passing another look between them.

  Tyke shrugged and stayed silent to spare his life. Kenna seemed to be fucking it up just fine on her own. No sense for him to contribute.

  “Well, that’s good, then.” Sam reached her hand out for Kenna. When Kenna reciprocated, Sam placed her other one on top. “I’m so happy you’re here. Really. I can’t believe this is happening. I’m getting married!”

  Kenna smiled, but it only lightly touched her eyes. Tyke had to look away to get his emotions under wraps. Kenna deserved a beautiful wedding like this. She deserved to be just as happy as Sam. Tyke hoped like hell once this shit with the ring was sorted out, she’d find someone and settle down. If she hadn’t already.

  Shit, he hadn’t thought about that. She could be with someone. The guy could be here right now, and Tyke hadn’t realized it. Tyke would’ve seen him hanging around with her somewhere, though. What about at home? Maybe the guy couldn’t travel for whatever reason.

  Tyke hated the idea of another man touching her, protecting her, loving her, but it was best. He’d had more than a decade to come to terms with it, and it’s what he wanted for her, but it still didn’t hurt any less to think about her with someone else. In fact, it felt suspiciously like that bullet he’d taken in Iraq.

  “I can’t believe it, either,” Kenna said, ripping Tyke out of that unpleasant memory. “I’m so happy for you.” If her tone was any indication, she meant it.

  “You’re sure about your mom’s ring? I mean, I know you said it was okay for me to wear it, but if you don’t want me to because it would be too weird or it would remind you too much of her or…” Sam’s gaze skirted to Tyke, then went back to Kenna. “Of other stuff, I won’t. I swear. I can find something else that’s blue. I’ll go get a blue umbrella from one of those fruity drinks and stick it in my hair or something.”

  “I’m sure,” Kenna said, this time smiling all the way. “I want you to wear it. After Mom…” Kenna swallowed hard. “Like I said before, it’ll help knowing there’s a piece of her here with us.”

  Kenna flicked a meaningful look at Tyke, her expression saying so much in that split second.

  What if they didn’t find that ring?

  The guilt in Tyke’s stomach ramped up a few thousand notches. Kenna’s mom, who had treated Tyke like one of her own, had made him promise if anything happened to her that he’d take care of Kenna. Look out for her. Love her.

  Jesus, what she would think of him now. He was just full of disappointments.

  And he’d be another disappointment if he didn’t get that ring back.

  Sam’s expression softened. “Do you mind if I see it? The ring. It’s been so long. I remember how beautiful it is with the bright sapphire in the middle and shimmering diamonds around it.”

  Panic rose in Kenna’s expression. She shifted her weight and cleared her throat.

  Shit. She was gonna blow it. And if Sam freaked out that someone took the ring, then she’d go all G.I. Jane wanting to find the thief, which would be counterproductive to Tyke’s intention of being hush-hush. Plus, it would distract Sam from the happiness she should be feeling.

  Kenna sighed. “Sam, you should know there’s a chance that—”

  Tyke stepped forward. “Kenna doesn’t have it.”

  Kenna’s eyes expanded to a size that could’ve rivaled the full moon overhead.

  Sam passed a look between them like she didn’t understand.

  “Uh, well… You see…” Kenna started.

  “Tonight,” Tyke said. “Kenna doesn’t have it with her tonight. She was actually just telling me about how she’s keeping it locked up safe until the wedding. She doesn’t want anything to happen to it before your big day. She’s excited. She’s been gushing all day about you wearing that ring.”

  Sam beamed. “Really?”

  Kenna looked at Tyke with a confused expression, then turned to her friend with a tight smile and nod. “Sure did.”

  “That means so much, thank you!” Sam pulled Kenna in for a huge hug and then leaned toward Tyke for one. He put his arms around her thin body.

  “I’m so glad you two are here,” Sam said.

  Once Sam was a safe distance away, Kenna spoke. “Why didn’t you let me tell her there’s a chance—”

  “Because there’s not,” he cut her off. “I’m gonna find it in time.”

  She tipped her chin up to look him in the eyes. The sadness in her light-blue gaze pierced his heart like a million pitchforks. “What if we don’t? What am I going to tell Sam?”

  We. He ignored that and instead focused on what mattered more.

  What it would do to Kenna if that ring were lost forever.

  “Don’t worry about it,” he lied. “I’ll find it.” He had to.

  “You’re not doing this alone.”

  “Don’t start, Kenna,” he said. “If there’s a pattern here, and it is a theft, this could get dangerous. I don’t want you anywhere near it. You could get hurt.”

  “You know better than to think I’m just going to—”

  Yeah, he did know better. But he wasn’t going to put up with it. He might have once upon a time, but not now.

  He stepped up to her, brushing his chest against hers. She gasped and blinked up at him. He looked down at her lips, because what the hell, he was a masochist. He could grip the back of her neck, dip to her level, and have his mouth on her in seconds. He wanted to. Even just to shut her up. Or just to remember how well they fit together.

  “I have a lead on this case,” he said instead, “and I’ll solve it a hell of a lot faster without you slowing me down. This is what I’m good at. Let me do my thing so we can both get what we want.”

  Her throat worked as she swallowed. “What do we want?”

  “You want your ring back.”

  “And you?” Her eyes glazed over, the blue turning rich and deep. “What do you want?”

  She couldn’t look at him like that. Like he was her savior. Like he could fix it and make it right again. That wasn’t him anymore. He didn’t fix shit for her. He only messed it up.

  No, this time he’d come through.

  “I want to get you the ring back,” he replied.

  Her smile was sweet. Like she had ultima
te faith he could do it.

  He didn’t hold any illusions. No matter how much he’d missed her and no matter how bad he wanted her back, it wasn’t going to happen. It couldn’t.

  “And then we both can get on with our lives,” he said. “Apart.”

  The eagerness in her eyes died, and she stepped back with a firm set to her jaw. “Right. Well, I’m not backing down. I’m going to find my own damn ring, without your help. I haven’t needed you for the last decade, and I sure as hell don’t need you now.”

  Ouch. He deserved that. Didn’t mean it hurt any less, though.

  “I meant what I said, Kenna. This’ll be over a lot faster if you just let me do it.”

  “Feel free. But know that I’ll be doing the same. So as long as we’re in agreement that we’re each doing our own thing…”

  His back teeth locked down. Arguing was useless. She’d do the opposite of what he wanted anyway.

  Great. Just like old times.

  …

  “Come on, Bryan,” Kenna said, standing at the door to her hotel room. “Is this really necessary?”

  “Some guy broke into your hotel room,” he said. “He could do it again. Yes, it’s necessary.”

  The luau ended, and as Kenna was walking toward the resort with the rest of the wedding guests, Bear had caught up with her and insisted on following her to her room.

  “I doubt he’d return to the scene of the crime,” she said. “And so soon.”

  His expression suggested he agreed with her but wouldn’t admit it out loud. Instead, he said, “Open the door so I can sweep the area.”

  “This is so silly.” She pulled her key card out of her wristlet. “Really. I think you’re overreacting.” Though, as she said it, she couldn’t help but feel relieved. The thought of coming back to her room alone, after someone suspicious had been in there, worried her. She hadn’t given it much thought until now. The fact that Bryan was here put her at ease, despite her anger toward him and their past.

  As soon as the card slid into the lock, and she turned the latch, he spoke.

  “Stay here until I say otherwise, understand?”

  She hesitated, her lungs seizing at the realization that the man could be in there right now.